I wish I could just afford to leave life for awhile and go to treatment. Where I work, the minimum stay is 30 days, but most stay 90. I’d really benefit from unplugging and focusing on my mental and physical health for that long. I feel like it’s long enough to finally break cycles and foster better skills.

But life doesn’t stop. Even though I’m begging it to. If I knew things could be taken care of financially at home, my family would be okay, and I wouldn’t lose my job, I would go. I would absolutely go. Especially while I have insurance that would cover the cost of treatment. But my job doesn’t have benefits so I only get one sick day a month. Life doesn’t stop because I’m suffering. I wish I would.

forestdemon:

I’ve dug this hole too deep for me to climb out of. Might as well lay down and get comfortable.

I!!!! WILL NEVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING!!!!!

EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!